When it comes to goal setting there are some people who only set low-grade goals and people who fail to set goals of any kind at all. Many of these people are scared but what exactly are they scared of? I think it is fair to say that most people are familiar with the concept of the fear of failure. This is a common and largely understandable fear as surely nobody wants to fail. Much has been said and written about turning the concept of failure completely on its head and looking at it as a very useful feedback and learning tool. The fear of feedback is not nearly so debilitating. This article, however, is about the fear of success and the subtle but very real damage it can inflict on our efforts to set goals and complete them.
How can the fear of success possibly stop anyone doing anything? Surely this is a contradiction in terms? Surely we are looking for success and that is why we make goals in the first place. That may be true for many people but for some, success is a scary thought.
Think about it for a moment. Success means you have done well at something. Other people may have noticed this and will expect more of the same or perhaps even better results in the future. Success can also bring responsibility. Many people don't like responsibility and thus don't like to stretch themselves with adventurous goals. They fear succeeding and having to step right up into the limelight and the harsh glare of expectation.
If such a person thinks that a big audacious goal will produce success by-products that they don't want, they will not attempt that goal. If they do attempt it, maybe due to peer or family pressure, they will find subtle ways to de-rail things and will often blame any external events or other people that they can and cite many plausible reasons for not achieving. Quite often this self-sabotaging behaviour is completely unconscious. The person believes they are trying their best and that they simply can't succeed.
If you suspect you are in this situation it is worth carefully analysing what achieving a big success will mean to you. Is this possible fear of success actually holding you back?
One workable solution is to develop a longer series of sub-goals that build slowly, steadily and deliberately toward a big goal. You can then try achieving each stage and getting used to the incremental successes. Others will not notice any huge changes in you either and they may be less demanding in their expectations. Before you know it you will be comfortably enjoying deserved success where you previously feared to go.
Set the bar where you know it should really be and rise to your challenges in the way that is best for you. All roads lead to Rome.
I'm Andy Pope and I am committed to helping individuals and organisations develop more effective face to face communication skills and personal development. I hope you enjoyed this article.
Check out more information and resources on my website at http://www.eryrglas.com
Sign up for my free newsletter at http://eepurl.com/e9T-Q
See you there soon!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andrew_D_Pope
No comments:
Post a Comment